13 - Autumn '16

A Lesson in Patience

I know, I know... I'm meant to be all about this 'patience' thing, especially since I've named my entire blog after the longing sort of patience we are to emit as we wait for the LORD. 

Thankfully it is not me but the Spirit of God who makes any emanating patience a reality.

 He is so gracious to be everything I need and more.

Lake Waldo, OR

This has been a very interesting season for me... I've been very alone, very adult, and learning a new thing just about every hour. I've been through training to become a volunteer firefighter, and have been taking three college classes this semester, one of which was the Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) program and was worth 7.5 units.  (That's a lot, in case you don't speak college.)

And I graduated!! Woohoo!!!!
SR and I worked like crazy to pull it off... though I'm pretty sure it's only because God wants it to happen for some reason.








SR is so fantastic. She's a wonderful sister in the LORD, she is passionate about her goals, and she is the opposite of me when it comes to personality.        :)

Joj helping to wash the grapes

Another couple of events this fall:

I made grape juice for the first time! From actual grapes!
And I turned 22!

I felt quite creative... (there are two 2's and they make a heart!)

SM (my dear mentor)> and I got to attend a women's conference in October in the MOST beautiful corner of creation I've ever been in. 

The falls!! I was right there ^^^^^!!!!!!!!!

Richardson Springs, CA

12 - Summer '16

A Lesson In Endurance

For what seems like a long time now, I've been living away from my family. 

That's right, these ridiculous people whom I love. :)                   <-------------->

It's been three years since I have been a permanent resident of my parents' home, and this will be the first year that the IRS recognizes me as independent from them. 

Today, I got to wrangle fiberglass insulation into the south wall of my house. The most vibrant memory I have of this deceptively-not-cotton-candy stuff is when once I played groundhog and burrowed my way into a large mound of rolls of the stuff. You get the picture. This is something I may never forget. I was wearing a red sweatshirt. 

Anyway, this summer I've gotten to do a lot of really amazing things! Adult things, and some childish/childlike things. :)

I got to spend scads of time with my dear friend 
Miss M Mrs. R

Boysenberry jam and a goofball

Gaming is code for playing pretend!

We have spent much of it giggling, adventuring, crying, accidentally burning appendages whilst cooking, and praying together.

 (There may or may not have been a midnight zucchini bread making adventure.......)


I got a job with the city, working with kids who are never out of the public school system.

The manicure of a children's worker!

The look of someone who has
 just been crowned a dunce!

These kids are 97% (at least) unsaved and know nothing about Jesus. 

Added to that is the fact that I was the only Believer on our staff team.

Ms. C was/is the person of interest here.

I maintained two jobs with ladies who live up in Redding, helping with meal prep and the like. 

Ms. A is 75, has lyme disease, a heart condition, and a history of deep fascination for finding truth within one's own self. She has expressed a belief that all roads lead to heaven.

Ms. B is in her mid-sixties, has lyme disease, an auto-immune disease, and a worldview which requires a pastor/sermon to give her an emotional high or reaction in order for it to be Spirit-filled. She isn't sure whether she believes that Jesus is God.

Ms. C is in her early sixties, lost a child years ago, doesn't believe in hell, is bitter toward and untrusting of most of the world, and believes that all roads go to heaven.

All three of these ladies have told me that they were "saved & baptized" in their late teens.

Ms. A occasionally speaks with me about spiritual things, Ms. B nearly constantly does, and Ms. C comes and goes, when she's feeling confident or antagonizing.

I do not know exactly the position each of these women hold before the King, but it seems likely that they are respectively either non-believers or very immature believers.

This is an experience I've not had before. It has indeed been exhilarating, terrifying, and staggering at times. Most of the time I just keep my mouth shut and listen and pray as they explain their unbiblical beliefs to me. Much of the time I'm not sure exactly how to pray.

In my devotions last week I focused on the grace of God. How comforting it is to know that His grace has covered over my sins! Praise be to our Father and to Jesus Christ! And yet how heartbreaking that these women may not have received that perfect gift! Even so, His power to save is not diminished. 

I do pray, that I will remember continually how great a gift was given for me on Golgotha, and that these sometimes difficult women will come to a full understanding of their lowliness, and yet His love for them and power to save.

Much more has happened! See the next post! :)

Blessings to you!

11 - Relearning to walk

My favorite number is ten, so it's always  difficult for me to want to add an eleven to anything. But it has been so long!

SBC girls!

Hoge & I

Hello from California! As a child I overheated very easily, and have only gotten more sensitive to the heat as I've aged. But it would seem that this is where God has me for now! :)

Part of my house

As I may have mentioned before, I also have a 'chink in my armor' that tends to be an area of struggle for me with my emotions. I was never diagnosed, but I have had to really work at being joyful and unafraid throughout my life. The devil knows this, (and I'm thankful that I am aware) so it's an important matter to keep under control. Anyway, how is all this connected?

Back view of the house (with a stray pool ladder)

I am feeling quite alone these days. Sure, my relationship with my family is ever growing sweeter, and my Abba is always with me. But over the past three years, I've lived in four different states, six different homes, and my circumstances have considerably changed. I love, love, LOVE my church family, and they are just that most of the time. They are so sweet and I love to be involved in their lives. But changing hands so frequently makes it difficult to have close relationships. Maybe this is God giving me a hint: don't put more stock in temporal things/relationships than in Him.

I thank the LORD for my sweet friend B, whom He has miraculously placed in the same family and town as me!

H, B, I - at B's wedding a month ago.

It has been a journey. An adventure even! My God is working all things out for His glorious purposes, and I long to trust Him more as He uses me however He will.

Ah yes! The title of this entry is important indeed. I am reminded frequently of my inadequacy and Christ's sufficiency. As a little child, I am learning to walk, to live, to trust Him more, and I'm needing to re-do it this time. I'm alone, I'm single, I'm learning a whole new way of life, and God is there, holding my hand as I take some baby steps and some big jumps. May I seek His will above all.

This hymn has been on my mind lately, and this verse in particular. The depth of Jesus' love for us is one I shall never fully comprehend. He has blessed us and saved us thousands of times more than we could ever deserve.

View Him prostrate in the garden, on the ground your Maker lies.

On the bloody tree behold Him! Sinner, will this not suffice?

10 - Be My Valentine?

The past year has been a hurricane.


It seemed like every week (if not every day) I was learning more of the depth of my insufficiency and incapability to handle my emotions or grasp spiritual things, or believe that the God of the universe loves me.


Today in Sunday School we talked about God's love, as He longs for us to understand it. He is so good, and the things that He chooses to put in my life are hand-picked because of His love for me.


In the last two months, a bunch of my expectations and dreams got taken out of the picture. I'm no longer planning to live in Oregon, I no longer have a man that I'm planning to marry, a year of relationship building with his family now seems to be in vain, and I'm practically alone on the west coast of America.


Why on EARTH would a good Father choose to give me this life??

Because He loves me. 

Because He is good.

Because He knows best.

My heart is so sad, yet so very full of joy and full of the hope that my Jesus has given me.

Oh, how I wish it were so simple to forget the whole world and worship Him! It seems at times that I could/should abandon worldly things altogether and seek to know Him more fully with each moment.

How can I spend one more minute hitting the snooze, or overeating, or putting anything in a different rank than it should be? To serve my King is to see this world as He sees it: desperately in need of a Rescuer. As one of my professors is often quoted, "We. Do. Not. Act. On. What. We. Know. To. Be. True." If I did, I would be giving my every breath to share the amazing, life-saving, eternal power of Jesus' person and work.

If I did, I would be "better."

Better means - evidently filled with the fruit of the Spirit/quick to listen/slow to speak/wise/mature. These are my very high expectations for myself. I want to do all I can, with the faith that I have, to grow in that and return my Master's talent to Him with interest. But how do I attempt this with the right perspective? I really am not certain, but this is my guess: I will learn to be content with the level of growth that I have achieved, at least for today. Tomorrow, I'll take another step toward godliness, without the expectation of immediate and astonishing results.


But I absolutely cannot do any of this in my own power. And God does not expect me to. I think the most difficult facet of my life right now is that I am completely convinced that He ultimately has the best plan in mind, and also completely and excruciatingly aware of my ineptitude to recognize or completely embrace that perfect plan. I just thank Him for His incredible patience with my helplessness.


So, be mine? On this day that would have been happy, my Savior is longing for my heart, longing to be my everything. And I do so long to see His face, to bring Him glory with my life until that day, and to cause those around me to see the perfection and sufficiency of Christ because of my weakness.


Be my Valentine/Sweetheart for this passing hour? No, let Him be the Lover of my soul for all eternity.

9 - My True Love

Who knew life could be so hard?

Oh, right... God did.

He has known every temptation before I existed.

He knows my every fear and worry, every sadness that stabs through my heart.

He loves me SO PASSIONATELY that He DIED for me.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Hebrews 4:14-16

My Jesus is always with me, even to the end of the age.

My Abba is the King of my life, and yet calls me daughter. It is He whom I long to see one day - whose lap I picture when I'm curled up and crying - whose arms I ache to be held by.

His Spirit waits for my submission before He envelops me in comfort and reminds me of the everlasting promises.

I am not alone.

This is but a battle -- The war is already won.

To the one God of heaven and earth be glory forever!