6 - Discomfort Communicated In The Form Of My Ramblings...

Oh my. How sinful I am!

They tell you to make catchy opening lines. I prefer to neutralize them with a long and boring follow-up statement. Ha.

But in all seriousness: I’m feeling particularly sorry for my faults at present, specifically my uncanny ability to make everything about me. Have you ever tried to write an entire paragraph of monologue without starting a single sentence with the word ‘I’? That’s difficult stuff!!

Halley is selfish. Halley is human. And oh so sorry for it. So! Quick fix! Turn it around and center your gaze on someone else. Simple, right? Focus on where they may be hurting or need help. Even better, make that someone God. Now, obviously He doesn’t need help. But instead of wallowing, ask yourself what you’re doing to further His kingdom as opposed to deterring or discouraging His advances.

Not sure how much sense that makes, but I firmly believe that it is good for sinners to talk to other sinners, and in doing so, point each other to Christ. I feel as though I’m not doing well in my walk right now. But, maybe in a few weeks, I’ll look back and wish I was as faithful then as I am now. Maybe this post is from current sinner Halley to future sinner Halley. Maybe it’s to someone else.

Context, right…

 

The view.

I’m sitting on the sewing room floor as I type, and I’ve just gotten off the phone with my WONDERFUL suitor, T. :) Today was ‘productive’, I cleaned someone else’s house, didn’t clean mine; I provided food for the youth group leaders, but not for my family. (Granted, they were out and didn’t end up needing food..) No ‘major’ sins were committed today, ‘just’ my selfishness and impatience and laziness. Oh, and, a LARGE part of that selfishness/impatience is composed of my whining (mainly internal) about how much I miss T. I'm wishing I was in that crowded, wonderful home with the people I feel that I was born to meet. I wish I was in that little house on a hill rather than in this big, empty house in cold Michigan.

So that’s my life right now. I am uncomfortably inactive. In my faith, in my housekeeping, in my relationships… Yuck. I need to refocus. Re-prioritize. 

I don’t HAVE to end this on a positive note… So I’ll direct the question to the reader, present or future.

How are YOU using your time to HONOR God? Your affections? Or simply your thoughts? I don’t want to be where I am now. Do you? How will you change who you are and where you are going?

I don’t feel clever, or fulfilled, or fixed, or even motivated. But I know that something has to change, so that’s a start.

I’m praying for each person that reads this. :) May God bless you and draw you near.